Ladies…lets just not

If I had a dollar for every time I had the “I don’t understand why women wear makeup…why cant they just let their natural beauty show” argument….scoffed offendedly at the “your such a pretty girl why do you wear so much makeup?” statement or saw red after I heard a dude say “you know, guys really don’t like when you wear all that makeup. we actually hate it” I would have at least $300,000 sitting nice and pretty in my bank account.

But then I realize that I just need to be realistic…

1. You just can’t please all the people all the time

2.Some people just honestly prefer a more fresh-faced approach to beauty than I do. It’s not to say either one of us is wrong or right….we just see things differently.

And I am one hundred and ten percent ok with that.

HOWEVER what I am not ok with…is the fact that some people do feel their opinion on the subject is just SO well-rounded and thought out that it is imperative they share with all surrounding them including me…when im just standing around minding my own dang business giving myself a quick touch up in the lady’s room during a night on the town.

Its ok with me that you don’t wear makeup…or you don’t like it…or you don’t understand it….or you “just don’t have time for all that”…or its just not something you ever got into. BUT the minute you start trying to make me feel bad because it is something that I do care about and enjoy that’s when I go to my dark place. Where there are spine chilling clown giggles coming from all around, a eerie green fog rolls in, and the theme from the “Twilight Zone” plays while those creepy twins from “The Shining” make hats out of people’s kidneys.

Girls who enjoy make up are just simply that. There is no code to crack…nothing to “understand” and certainly is no intention on that persons part to offend you with their love for a nice shimmery glowy highlighted cheek. What you are saying is just plain rude and one hundred percent un necessary.

Because it’s not like I would ever just out of no where tell another female “girrrrrl, you NEED to put some makeup on. seriously..I dunno HOW you can do that. I mean..WHY do you think that’s ok?” Never ever ever in a million years ever would I do something like that. Not even when I hear the voices and find myself getting ready to descend into my dark place…as HARD as I have to fight it. Because I feel like…if your style is working for you and it makes YOU happy. Then that’s GREAT and I’m gonna keep my powdered nose out of it.

And while I’m already on my soapbox..can I just say the “guys don’t like that argument” holds about much water to me as a beer mug made out of leftover Starbucks brown paper napkins. Look fellas, it’s not to say one girls DONT like the attention of certain male admirers, and it’s not to say we don’t get a natural flush anytime we hear the phrase “my oh my, you sure a purdy lil’ lady” (I guess in my head all boys sound like one of the Dukes from Hazard county whenever they pay a compliment. I’m not going to lie….I think that would kind of work on me) and it’s not say that we aren’t aware of the effect sexy bed head hair and a low-cut top has on you guys. HOEWEVER….in cases like mine where makeup and makeup artistry in general is just a huge passion of yours it is safe to say I do NOT do it with you boys in mind. If I met a guy who didn’t like makeup…then hes just not the guy for me. And that’s ok! I suppose the reason it offends me is it makes me feel like the man who has the golf balls to say something like that to me, must really be under the impression that every move or decision I make is based on the probability that it may (or may not) get the attention of the opposite sex. And if what I’m doing is not well liked by that type of male…then I should do something about it. I would no sooner change something about my appearance that I DO like than I would  do something to my appearance that I DONT like..just because “guys prefer that”. Men like beer….im probably not going to have a beer tap installed. And it’s not like it’s totally out of the realm of comprehension to these kinds of gents the importance/fun of aesthetics. Cause they will spend thousands (and if they don’t they WOULD) on their cars or bikes. Which leads me to my point…we might not understand why the other party may do what they do,…but  I think we can all agree you’re not gonna win any car shows if you don’t polish up the chrome a little 🙂

NOW…I will say there is a difference between wearing makeup and wearing it BADLY. We have all heard all these nonsense rules about makeup “You should only wear certain things during the the drama for night-time” “no blue eyeshadow” “no red lips in the spring time” ya da ya da ya da. I’m not talking about that kind of thing…mostly because I disagree you can wear whatever styles of makeup you want whenever the eff you want to.

What I’m talking about are makeup FAILS. Like wearing foundation that is two or three shades too dark for you. Using a black lip liner to line your pastel pink lipstick. Having your eyebrows filled into a un natural bride of Frankenstein  scary shape. NOT BLENDING! Lipstick allllll over your teeth. That’s when makeup goes from being your bestie of all besties to that girl who tags hideous pictures of you on Facebook on while you are at work or on a plane when they know you cant see or do anything about it for hours ON PURPOSE (seriously ladies, just BAD form)  THAT’S when…you HAVE TO..nay…NEED to take a stand.

Please help that poor girl out! Especially if she is one of your friends or family members.  I see these girls all the time and wonder “is anyone constantly up in her grill piece telling her she is wearing too much makeup? or that she would look prettier with less” my estimation would be no…because  if so things like this:   would never be able to happen right? Poor lil tink tink… 😦

So the moral of the story is….

Live and let live. Unless of course you or someone you know is a victim of the chronic massive makeup failure… You don’t want their pictures to end up on some random persons blog do you!? DO YOU!? SIDENOTE: I always wondered if the people who end up in all these kind of “fail” pictures that your friends always post, ever see them in circulation and what they must think of that and more importantly if they dedicate a huge chunk of time tracking down the jerk face that started sharing the pic in the first place and planning their accidental ladder or moped related untimely demise. If any of these pictures are of you I’m sorry 😦 …..but you can thank me later 🙂


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